Why is queer parenting still stuck on the nuclear model?

Maeve Marsden | Daily Life | December 11, 2015

As a 32 year old single lesbian who has always wanted children, I find myself having increasingly awkward conversations about whether or not I might procreate solo, in my case with a known sperm donor. “I’m considering being a single parent,” I say. “I have a male friend who is keen to donate.” Then I brace for impact.

First, there are the obvious warnings about how much work it’d be having a child alone, as well as well worn tropes about the two parent imperative. Once they’ve critiqued my potential as a Mother, they pontificate on my choice of donor, questioning his trustworthiness and his ability to cope when little mini-hims burst forth from my womb. What if he wants the kids once they’re born? Will we sign a legal agreement? Can you be sure he’s healthy? Is he handsome?

Can you imagine how my friends would react if I queried their romantic partnerships in this way? If I asked whether their husbands had the best genes, or if they’d signed a pre-nuptial agreement; if I asked what the plan was when/if they divorced. What a buzzkill, right?

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Film lifts lid on “corrective rape” in families of gays in India

Nita Bhalla | Reuters India | July 2, 2015

NEW DELHI (Thomson Reuters Foundation) – Families in India are using “corrective rape” to convert their gay, lesbian and transgender sons and daughters, the director of the first Indian film on the issue said, urging society to confront the brutal, hidden practice.

Corrective rape, which is known to happen in Africa and the Caribbean though largely perpetrated by strangers or acquaintances, in India can involve families and is thus seldom reported.

Director Deepthi Tadanki said research for her film “Satyavati” – named after the lesbian protagonist who is raped by a family member – helped her understand why families were committing corrective rape in India.

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Botswana Gay Group Victorious

Melanie Nathan | Oblogdeeoblogda | November 15, 2014.

The Gaborone High Court ruled that the Botswana government is compelled to register the LGBTI group, group LEGABIBO,  (Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals of Botswana). This order was sought after registration of the organization was  refused  by the Ministry of Labor and Home Affairs in 2012 because the ministry claimed that Botswana’s Constitution does not recognize homosexuals. However the threat of the draconian penal code with 7 years in prison stands as active legislation and a tool of possible persecution against LGBTI people in Botswana.

Sourced at  Mamba Online:

It also argued that it could not register any group that “is likely to be used for any unlawful purpose or any purpose prejudicial to or incompatible with peace, welfare or good order in Botswana.”

The case was brought by 20 individuals who argued that the refusal to register their organisation violated their constitutional rights, including their rights to freedom of association, freedom of expression, and equal protection of the law.

The court agreed and ruled that the government’s discriminatory action was indeed unconstitutional.

“We are overjoyed at the outcome of the case. Lesbians, gays and bisexuals have long strived to be able to form an organisation which can support them and be their voice on matters that affect them,” commented Caine Youngman, LEGABIBO Coordinator.

“It has been a long and arduous journey towards recognition and we are relieved that the court has protected our rights,” he said.

What is important about this ruling is the fact that there is no law barring the organization from existing and that it has an equal right to exist.  However one must also note that the existing Penal Code does not outlaw same-sex relationships, though it does prohibit certain behaviors that serves to target especially LGBTI people.

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Most Lesbian Mothers are Satisfied with Type of Sperm Donor Selected

Williams Institute

Eighteen years after conceiving their children through donor insemination, 77.5 percent of 129 lesbian mothers were satisfied with their choice of a known, open-identity, or unknown sperm donor, according to a new study released today by the Williams Institute. The mothers’ satisfaction with donor type was unrelated to the presence or absence of psychological health problems in their 17-year-old adolescents. Donor access and custody concerns were the primary themes associated with the mothers’ satisfaction.

The study was conducted by current and former Williams Institute scholars Nanette Gartrell, Henny Bos, and Naomi Goldberg, along with Amalia Deck and Loes van Rijn-van Gelderen. It appears online in the journal Fertility and Sterility. (Gartrell, Bos, and van Rijn-van Gelderen are also affiliated with University of Amsterdam).

Full report, click here.

Brutal attack on lesbian couple after Gay Pride event in San Francisco a hate crime, police say

Scott Kaufman | Raw Story | July 3, 2014

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Police are investigating the attack on two women at San Francisco’s Gay Pride celebration last week as a hate crime.

The lesbian couple spoke to KTVU News about the ordeal, which they say began as they were returning from a Gay Pride event.

A group of men approached the pair — who did not want their last names revealed — as they walked on Ninth Street.

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Suspect arrested in shooting attack of Texas teen lesbians

James Withers | Gay Star News | March 22, 2014

A suspect has been arrested in the Portland, Texas shooting of two young lesbians.

As reported by NBC News, 27-year-old David Malcolm Strickland was taken into custody by US Marshals and Texas Rangers, on 20 June, in a suburb of San Antonio.

He’s facing charges of capital murder, aggravated assault with a weapon, and aggravated sexual assault.

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Move Over, Gaybros: Masculine Privilege Thrives Among Queer Women Too

Alex Berg | Huffington Post | May 19, 2013

A subreddit called “Gaybros” recently became a target of ire — and support — for creating a space for gay men with “traditionally male interests,” as described by creator Alexander DeLuca on The Good Men Project. Many derided the group for elevating traditional masculine traits and thus perpetuating misogyny among gay men, but as a queer woman, I see that this form of masculine privilege doesn’t just operate in the gay community. We too have our own “lezbros,” and I’m not talking about the straight men who are our friends.

There’s a particular New York lesbian party that might be the natural habitat for the lezbro. The party features minimally clothed, hyperfeminine go-go dancers performing routines as a sea of women fist-pump and drool and throw dollar bills. There, many lesbians appropriate fratty personas, using pickup lines that might have originated in the mouths of men catcalling women on the street. Party culture itself shouldn’t be conflated with misogyny, yet I find it impossible not to call this display objectification, even though it’s at the hands of other women.

In these spaces, it can be challenging, at times, to find the line between queer masculinity and masculinity as it is performed by straight men. “The way in which masculinity interacts with naked feminine bodies, it’s undifferentiated; the way queer masculinity interacts is almost the same,” Cyree Jarelle Johnson, editor of Femme Dreamboat and contributing writer to Elixher.com, told me in a conversation about the notion of the lezbro. “And to me that’s a problem, because when it’s a man, we think of it as sexism,” Johnson added.

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Ugandan Speaker Kadaga speaks out on violence against women at Commonwealth Women Parliamentarians Conference

Melanie Nathan | Oblogdeeoblogda | February 20, 2013.

Eastern Cape Provincial Legislature hosts the fifth Commonwealth Women Parliamentarians’ (CWP) Africa Region conference8 Feb 2013. Delegates and observers of the Commonwealth Parliamentary Association attended a the Commonwealth Women Parliamentary (CWP) Conference,  in East London, South Africa, last week.

In attendance at the meet up in South Africa, which is a country that enjoys full equality through a constitution that protects LGBTI people, was controversial anti-gay Ugandan Speaker Rebecca Kadaga.  Kadaga emphasized the need to take firm action against the persistent violent abuse of women and children on the continent of Africa. The  Speaker pointed out that Commonwealth Legislatures need to be firmer in ensuring policy implementation measures that advocate for the empowerment and protection of women and children.

The Ugandan Parliamentary Speaker and outgoing CWP chairperson said the objectives of CWP Africa are to “promote gender equality and emancipation of women, promoting respect for human rights and freedoms, pursuing the ideals of democracy and good governance.”

The Question You Should Never Ask a Lesbian Mom

Judy Gold | Huffington Post | Feburary 4, 2013

A few weeks ago I took my 11-year-old son Ben to the doctor.  He had been snoring so loudly that his brother refused to sleep in the same room, so we made an appointment with the best pediatric E.N.T. in the entire world. (Yes, that’s what it’s like living in NYC.) When we checked in, the nurse gave me some forms to fill out. I was a bit taken aback when I noticed that the forms said “Mother’s Name” and “Father’s Name,” given that we live in one of the most socially progressive cities in the world. I did my customary sigh and cross-out and wrote “Parent/Guardian 1” and “Parent/Guardian 2,” as I had done scores of times before.  Ben watched as I handed the papers back to the nurse, mentioning that the forms needed to be updated.  He had seen me do this way too many times.

The nurse perfunctorily agreed and walked us down the hall to the examining room, where we waited patiently for this highly acclaimed doctor, who was indeed warm and smart and had a great bedside manner. He informed us that Ben needed sinus surgery and his tonsils removed. As we were checking out with the nurse, she suggested that we schedule the surgery immediately, because the doctor gets really booked up. (When the hell am I going to get booked up? Oh, different doctor. Let’s move on.)

The nurse phoned New York-Presbyterian Hospital to make the arrangements while we stood at her desk. At one point during her conversation, she seemed a bit uncomfortable and kept looking up at me while saying into the phone, “Sure… well… uh-huh… OK….” A moment later she covered the phone with her hand and asked me, “Um, who’s the real mother?”

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